4:44 a.m.

This will all end in tears, he says, and something inside me says he is right, but not for the reasons discussed. You deserve so much better.

I drop him off on Charles Street, and it is not until I walk alone down Hudson that I realize the city has gone to sleep. It seems like minutes ago we were leaving a bustling East Village street and sending our loved ones off in a cab, the New York night vibrant with promise and giggles. How quickly it dissipates into undefined future. How quickly the world changes and the city is not the same.

As I walk down the avenue, contemplating his new future in a whole other world, a whole other life, I realize all this talk of leaving for my part is ridiculous. If I were not here, I would be nowhere. If I were not here, I would be no one.

On Morton Street, I have left the radiator valve open, and I have to open a window to breathe. An orphan puppy sleeps in the room next door. How quickly lives change. How much we take for granted.

I set my alarm. Tomorrow, the world begins anew.